The Only Way is Essex is going American. Probably quite apt as we already have Bas Vegas and a Hollywood-style sign on the A13 at Basildon. The makers of the programme, Lime Productions are in discussions about making a version of the series set in either Florida or Texas. Is there anywhere in the world that could be like Essex? And what exactly is the American for "are you mugging me off?" and "getting the 'ump". Would they have an ironic equivalent to "Shu' up!" or indeed something akin to Arg's "burger nips"? Could there be "well proper" or "reem" or "jel" Texans? Ex-Towie icon Amy Childs might have to ask: "The person that’s obviously done the dictionary who is it? I’m being serious. Is he from Essex or is he from wherever, like Texas?" Not being horrible, but the makers of US Towie might end up looking like what Mark and Arg might refer to as "right doughnuts".