Remembering WW2 in West Horndon

Thanks to my sister Kaz for supplying these pics of the WW2 memorial bench in West Horndon. The bench marks the area where 20 young men lost their lives after two US Air Force bombers collided above the fields around West Horndon. The only survivor was tail gunner John Adams. Apparently bits of the planes can still be around around the local woods. A sad tale, but well worth remembering today.

This is Essex — without the stereotypes

Enjoyed the Zoom launch of the video This is Essex today. The video was made by Visit Essex and contains a host of Essex characters debunking some of the myths about the county. 

To prove it's not all boy racers rally champion Nabila Tejpar (left) shows us her motor. Countering the idea that Essex folk aren't that intelligent, scientist Dr Miles Adcock shows us around the Chelmsford base where parts are made for space programmes. 

Comedian Ellie Taylor, who was born in Brentwood, gives her take on the Essex accent. Michelin starred chefs the Galvin Brothers prove that Essex does have taste and eighth generation Mersea oysterman Tom Haward proves "Out, Out" doesn't always mean false eyelashes and fake tan. 

Paralympian Anne Wafula-Strike reveals tracksuits are worn for more than leisure in Essex, Hedingham Castle owner Demetra Lindsay tells us she's an Essex Girl and metal detectorist Adrian Gayler brings a new perspective to golddigging. Harwich town cryer James Cole gets shouty and the owner of West Street vineyard asks what a sugar hut is. Although pantomime dame Anthony Stuart-Hicks does admit to wearing white stilettos. 

Essex Radio's Dave Monk hosted a short discussion after the launch. Essex Man, Essex Girls and Towie might represent a part of estuary Essex, but this is a fun idea to prove that there's a lot more to Essex than the popular cliches. To view the video click on the link.

Essex Man is 30 today

Today Essex Man is thirty years old. Simon Heffer wrote the original piece that created Essex Man in the Sunday Telegraph of October 7 1990. So what would Essex Man, aka "Maggie's mauler" be like today? 

Essex Man would be close to retirement age with electric gates on his gaff in Southend and a bolthole in Portugal. You won’t step over pools of his vomit at Liverpool Street anymore because he drinks Pinot Grigio at home with his missus and has been told to slim down before Covid gets him. Though he still supports Brexit and thinks that even if there are 7000 lorries parked in Dover he might be able to send over a few mobile coffee stalls and get a good mark-up. He’d certainly be knocking out a nice sideline in West Ham face masks going at a tenner a time. 

He’d be more into marketing wellness and beauty apps to the metropolitan liberal elite in Islington rather than videos on Romford market and would be trading in one-day Sky passes for the Premier League rather than the satellite dishes of 1990. He’d approve of Priti Patel’s idea of sending asylum seekers to Ascension Island, but accept Priti as one of 'us' because she’s spiritually Witham. With Priti and Mark Francois in charge we might even win the next war. He would hate snowflakes but be very sensitive to any criticism of his own views on twitter. 

Essex Man would have been puzzled by his grandchildrens’ liking for Jeremy Corbyn, who reminded him of that muppet Wolfie Smith. But he might have a little more respect for Keir Starmer. Essex Man and shiny suits go back a long way and it’s not hard to imagine the besuited Starmer with a brick-like mobile phone in the 1980s. Just as long as long as he doesn’t tax white van man or tanning salons, though he can have a go at Amazon as their delivery drivers are always leaving packages outside the electric gates because they can't get past the security. 

Essex Man admires the front of Dominic Cummings in breaking the lockdown rules, but still thinks he deserves a slap for being a posh git who reads books. Much of the origins of Essex Man can be found in the Victorian costermongers described by Henry Mayhew in the classic London Labour and the London Poor. Selling fruit and veg from moveable barrows, they developed a heightened street sense and quickfire humour. Some of them were known as “patterers”. And today’s Essex Man would certainly recognise Boris Johnson as a dodgy patterer who doesn’t really know what he’s talking about with his world-beating test and trace system, particularly as Nanny Pat is at risk. Essex Man can forgive much but not poor marketing or being mugged off. 

The only Way in Essex

Enjoyed a great walk on the Essex Way with the artist Michael Landy (famous for once destroying all his possessions and placing them in Landy-fill). We took a taxi from Harlow to Pepper's Green and then walked down the tree-lined avenues, ancient bridleways and newly-ploughed fields of Essex to finally look back in Ongar. 

We came across the two churches (and one graveyard) at Willingale, which are certainly intriguing. No-one is sure why there are two churches, St Christopher's and St Andrews' and All Saints. There were folk rumours of a row between two rich sisters who refused to worship together, though as the churches are 200 years apart in construction that theory doesn’t quite stand up. The churches date back to Saxon and Norman times and St Andrew's and All Saints even has Roman tiles used in its structure.

Then it was a stroll by the River Roding past fallen willows and dislodged bridges and into the fine old town of Chipping Ongar. Some eight miles of bucolic charms without a main road in sight until Ongar. It's the only Way in Essex and my intention now is to walk some more of it. 

Stag do in Harold Hill

Oh deer. Thanks to Billy Bragg who has retweeted these pics of deer who have colonised the empty streets of Harold Hill (in East London, though formerly Essex). The goats in Llandudno are getting all the publicity, but it seems deer are now born free in Harold Hill (which incidentally also features in an Ian Dury song).

Excellent Essex

Good to see there's a new book on Essex out, Excellent Essex: In Praise of England's Most Misunderstood County by Gillian Darley. The Guardian described it as, "an original and beautifully written celebration of a much maligned county." A review will be published shortly…

West Ham Legends hit Brentwood

Best part of the weekend was going to see 'West Ham Legends' Trevor Brooking, Julian Dicks, Frank McAvennie and Tony Gale at Brentwood Live on Friday night. Brentwood Live is a strange venue, basically a sports hall with seats and not actually in Brentwood but Doddinghurst. But a taxi trip from the station soon delivered Fraser and myself to the venue, where we found a thousand or so geezers in replica shirts and Camden Pale on draft.

Tony Gale was a fine compere for the evening, full of wit, delivering a surprisingly accurate impression of Sir Trevor Brooking and revealing that Trev once said a four-letter word on the golf course. Sir Trev stalked us through his FA Cup winning goal and said that although Ron Greenwood was a great coach John Lyall was a better man manager. Predictably he rather sat on the fence on possible replacements for Pellegrini, but did say that he thought Ajeti wasn't good enough. Dicksy added that the current side just doesn't work hard enough. Mention of Roberto inspired memories of Allen McKnight from Frank McAvennie.

There were lots of tales from the 1980s and 1990s. Frank McAvennie had a story of the players breaking a curfew in Amsterdam and John Lyall asking for £50 to be given to charity from every player who had sneaked out of the fire escape. Lyall was very surprised to find £1200 left on the table when he returned. There was also the story of Mitchell Thomas faking injury so that McAvennie could come on to score a hat-trick in his final West Ham game.

We had plenty of examples of footballers' banter. Tony Gale recalled the time Trevor Morley was in the treatment room after being stabbed by his wife and Julian Dicks had placed a series of knives in the anatomical skeleton on display. 

Dicksy remembered himself and Frank hitching a lift on a milk float during a cross country run under Billy Bonds; and also the time Billy Bonds wanted to fight him at half-time during a game at Coventry. Despite their differences though, Julian considered Bonds to be the best player he played alongside.

Everyone had massive respect for Bonzo and when asked by an audience member "Did Harry Redknapp stab Billy Bonds in the back?" Tony Gale replied that all he could say was that Billy was as honest as they come.

Tony Gale also revealed that the epic 1985-1986 season charge to third place was inspired by a pre-season defeat at Orient when a fan who looked like a member of the ICF broke into the dressing room and lambasted each player in turn. If that fan is still around then perhaps he could break into the dressing room again and deliver a few more ripostes to our underachieving side.

Overall a fine night of nostalgia from four players who still seem to enjoy each other's company. And what wouldn't we give to see these four back in the side today?