Bad girls

Essex Woman might wear lots of make-up, but you don't want to mess with her.

There were always a few scary girls at my school who used to beat up boys in the break. I was reminded of this by the way the wronged Lauren pushed the Travolta-suited Mark into the pool at the end of the second series of The Only Way is Essex. Tht's the ame Lauren who in the first ever episode of TOWIE disapproved if Mark's flirting with Sam and said “I’ll f**ing knock her out the door!”

She's not as hard as Mark's mum Carol though, who's usually backed up by Jess and her cousin. Her withering glances at Lauren could shatter a Rolex at ten paces.

And then there was Amy confronted by Lydia for alleged flirting with Arg. "Are you having a go at me in my salon?" enquired Amy with a steeliness that made Ray Winstone look like Arg.

You'd back this lot to land a TKO against Mark, Arg, Kirk and Joey any day.