White Gold in Essex

Promising new trailer for the forthcoming BBC2 comedy series White Gold, set in Essex in 1983. It's written by Essex-born Damon Beesley, the man who gave us Inbetweeners, and is a comedy covering the antics of Vincent and his set of double-glazing salesmen. Looks worth watching just for those double-breasted shiny suits. Beesley refers to the programme as a, "glorious opportunity to recreate the Essex of my youth — a time before the invention of 'Essex girls' jokes, fake tan or Towie. A time when having double-glazed patio doors installed meant you were winning at life."

Tiptoe through the bluebells in Billericay

Caught the last bluebells at Norsey Wood in Billericay last weekend. We also saw first world war training trenches and lots of ant nests amid decaying tree trunks. The 165-acre wood has a bit of everything, a Bronze Age burial mound, a prehistoric track, a medieval deer bank and somewhere underneath it all lie the remains of lots of revolting peasants who were slaughtered by the King's forces at the end of the Peasant's Revolt in 1381. Finds include a Mesolithic axehead, an Iron Age glass bead, Celtic burial urns and Roman pottery and burials. It's an enticing, leafy place to get lost in and we topped it off with some excellent takeaway falafel from Menad restaurant near the station.

Grayson Perry's Dream House: no drabness in Wrabness

Enjoyed Grayson Perry's Dream House on Channel 4, which was one long homage to Essex. Grayson wore a pink jacket with "Essex" embroidered on the back as he won over the residents  of Wrabness with his plan to create an "Essex Taj Mahal". The house he builds is a cross between Hansel and Gretel and a Catholic Church. It celebrates Julie May Cope, a fictional Essex Woman who was married twice and died after being hit by a pizza delivery bike. The most enjoyable moment is when Grayson gets a gang of real-life Essex Julies on bikes and persuades then to pedal round Julie's life path, from Canvey Island to a tower block in Basildon and then being hit by a dodgy pizza boy in Colchester. His Julies have a surprising amount of empathy for his dream house and the artist himself looks pretty tearful as he confronts his problematic relationship with his mother. The documentary also shows how open-minded people in Essex can be; geezer builders buy into a fantasy house created by a metropolitan transvestite while the posher residents of Wrabness seem quite content to have a massive goddess with huge yellow breasts topping Grayson's fantasy structure. Time for a pilgrimage to Wrabness.

Grayson Perry's House for Essex

Plenty of coverage of Grayson Perry's House for Essex in Wrabness. It's a homage to an Essex everywoman called Julie and according to Grayson is for, "single mums in Dagenham, hairdressers in Colchester, and the landscape and history of Essex." Julie was born in Canvey Island in 1953 and married first Dave, a bit of a rogue, and then Bob who was steadier. Tragically she was knocked over by a boy racer on a moped and killed and the house is her shrine. The offending moped can be seen hanging from the ceiling. The BBC's Will Gompertz went through Julie's record collection and found a number of Dr Feelgood LPs, suggesting that both Perry (and Julie) are fans. At last Essex is high art and rarefied critics are having to speak reverentially about Julie and Dave. Nice one, Grayson.

Willie vote in Chelmsford

Here's a very Essex take on the election from the Essex Chronicle. A Chelmsford voter drew a penis in the box besides Ukip candidate Mark Gough's name. The crude vote, from the Springfield North ward, sparked a lively debate about whether the penis was a comment or an actual vote for the candidate. The offending penis was flagged up as a doubtful vote and not allowed to stand, though Ukip candidate Gough joked, "He was trying to vote for me!" Perhaps the voter was just applying the term 'honourable member' rather too literally…

Snooker loopy: Essex rules the world

Another week when Essex rules the world. After waiting 20 years Basildon's Stuart Bingham has won the snooker World Championship at the Crucible in Sheffield. He come out with a few choice Essex phrases including "winner winner chicken dinner" and claimed that his success was inspired by Mark Allen saying he had "no bottle". Nice one, Stuart.

Meanwhile Russell Brand is emerging as the unlikely kingmaker in the General Election, finally advising his followers to vote for Labour. Who would have thought that a geezer from Grays saying he's decided to vote would be big political news or index that Brand would be voted as the fourth most influential world thinker in Britain by Prospect magazine. Grays Man is now up there with John Stuart Mill, Rousseau, Hobbes, Marx and Engels, though presumably none of those ever wrote about taking heroin and sex addiction in their autobiography.

Meanwhile the Guardian's Do Something supplement has a cover feature on Grayson Perry's love of mountain biking. He describes off-load cycling as a boy in the woods around Chelmsford to get away from his dysfunctional family and still cycles in Epping Forest, finding the open competitiveness of mountain biking more honest than that of the art world.

Three very different Essex Men in the news, but all proving that right now Essex culture appears to be taking over the planet.

One foot in Harlow with Richard Wilson

Spent a very pleasurably day in Harlow on Friday being interviewed by the great Richard Wilson for his new ITV series Going For a Drive With Richard Wilson, on air this autumn. In the show Wilson drives classic cars around the UK following the old Shell guides for motorists. He’s now come to film in Essex and after trips to Saffron Walden and Colchester he arrived in Harlow in a Jaguar. A couple of chancers from Yates Wine Lodge asked if they could sit in the driving seat, only to be rebuffed by the TV crew on insurance grounds. A very Essex moment

Richard interviewed the man who runs the pet shop market stall (pictured) and then we sat on a bench talking about my book The Joy of Essex. We discussed the history of Harlow mentioning the UK’s first tower block The Lawn and the impressive collection of highbrow sculptures by the likes of Henry Moore, before moving on to the history of the Essex Man stereotype and why Essex, with its castles, Roman walls, forts and bigger coastline than Cornwall should be on many more tourist itineraries.

As we filmed Wilson revealed that the one bit of advice he gives all actors is “listen”. We also got on to Doctor Who when I congratulated him on his role as a doctor in The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances. He revealed that he’s friends with David Tennant, who is a real fan because his house is full of old dvds of Doctor Who, and that he knows Peter Capaldi too and he’s also a real fan of the show. Wilson dealt with several requests for pictures with Harlow locals with much charm and even offered to send my daughters a picture (and when they realised he’s Gaius in Merlin they were truly impressed.) Talking about Essex and Doctor Who in one afternoon. Doesn’t get any better than this.

Is Essex Man now Ukip Man?

Plenty of Essex headlines generated by Ukip’s gains in Basildon, Castle Point and Southend. “Has Essex Man become Ukip Man?” asked the BBC’s Nick Robinson; the Evening Standard’s headline read, “Essex Man is backing Ukip.” Nigel Farage was busy being snapped drinking a pint of IPA in Benfleet, the BBC ran a vox pop in Basildon and numerous TV reporters besieged the new towns.

The first thing to say is that Essex is not one homogenous area and that Ukip has done relatively well in traditional East End overspill areas. While I don’t in any way agree with Ukip’s policies – based on exaggeration of immigration figures, Europhobia and benefits myths — it’s not hard to see why they might appeal to disillusioned and suffering people in Estuary Essex.

In Essex they don’t like pomposity or anyone selling them a pup. The MPs’ expenses scandal fuelled people’s disillusion, as has Labour’s timidity in standing up to the banking industry and the coalition’s austerity policies. In my book The Joy of Essex Harlow’s MP Robert Halfon told me of his Essex-tailored manifesto, which made it very clear he wasn’t on the take and it seemed to work with his constituents: “I do NOT claim for a second home, as I have only one home in Harlow. I do NOT employ a relative. I do NOT claim for a newspaper allowance. I do NOT claim for first class train travel. I do NOT claim a large food allowance.” 

Essex Man and Woman likes to think of themselves as anti-establishment and perhaps part of Ukip’s appeal is the fact that Nigel Farage keeps insisting they’re not spin doctored and have real people saying off-message things. At the other end of the Essex political spectrum, the late Bob Crow earned respect for simply saying what he meant in an on-message age.

And Essex Man likes to think politicians have experience of the real world, yet too many politicians, having spent their entire lives at Westminster, look like they couldn’t could run a market stall in Harlow or Basildon or be decent company in the pub. Both Labour and the Conservatives could learn from this if they want to get their seats back.

Billericay Dickie Beer

Here's a beer that's from Essex, in case you couldn't tell. Ian Dury would surely be chuffed to know that  Billericay Dickie is the new beer from Billericay Brewing. It's made in a microbrewery just behind Waitrose and according to Billericay Brewing's 'Clever' Trevor Jeffrey, Billericay Dickie is "doing very well".

As for texture, it's not a bleedin' thickie, but is best taken lying on the couch with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch. It's available in Billericay Brewing's shop and selected pubs in Billericay have it on as a guest ale, such as the Coach and Horses, the Railway and the Hoop at Stock. It's also recommended by Joyce and Vicky and might be ideal for a rendezvous with Janet.

Mr Drew's class act in Chelmsford

Looking forward to episode two of Mr Drew's School for Boys on Chennal 4 tonight. Having starred in Educating Essex, the heroic Mr Drew is now back dealing with troublesome boys at his summer school. Last week's episode featured, among others, the incredibly annoying Zane who was still prone to terrible twos-style tantrums and a boy who asked questions like "Why are you so fat, Sir?" Incredibly, Mr Drew displayed tact and understanding, always remaining calm and actually getting some of the boys to open up about their bad behaviour. There was also a starring role for Chelmsford Library, and it was heartening to see how books could actually make a difference to this bunch of underachievers. Mr Stephen Drew is now back at Brentwood County High School as head teacher and surely deserves the freedom of Essex, if not a knighthood for his efforts.

Give Tilbury a Fort

Spent a great day out with my family at Tilbury Fort last weekend. It's an unexpected treasure positioned between the power station and piles of containers. There's three pages on the Fort in The Joy of Essex. Manager Kevin Diver gave me an after hours tour and wasn't able to unlock everything while I was writing the book, but I should now add that the officers' rooms are really atmospheric with their old fireplaces and floorboards, the museum has some great letters and artefacts and that it's great to step inside the tunnels and rooms inside the magazines (told you we had magazines somewhere in Essex!). These rooms were cells at one period, housing Jacobite prisoners as well as gunpowder and shells. Tlbury also has lots of slopes for kids to roll down and great sweeping views across the Thames to Gravesend and is built in a distinctive star shape known as a bastion fort. The shop does a fine line in Dad's Army fridge magnets, marmalade and ice cream too. All this and a nice pint of Abbott in the World's End pub afterwards.

Done up like a Ukipper in Essex

Is there anyone left in politics not fixated with Essex Man? Friday's Evening Standard ran the headline, "Labour makes gains but has failed to win over Essex Man". While on the editorial pages Andrew Neather wrote that, "in grittier parts of Essex — Brentwood, Harlow, Epping — it was mainly Ukip not Labour that took votes off the Tories". In today's Guardian, John Harris writes that, 'Last week I spent time with Ukip in Essex… in such towns as Wickford, Bilerciacy and Rayleigh, the disaffection runs deep." Was there anyone in Essex last week who wasn't a journalist?

The Apprentice docks in Tilbury

The Apprentice is continuing its love affair with Essex. The new series starts next Tuesday on BBC and the first episode sees the  teams selling the contents of shipping containers in Tilbury. These include high-visibility jackets, cat litters and novelty waving "lucky cats". All this after last season's foray into jam-making at Wilkin & Son in Tiptree and selling fake tan in Romford. Seems like Lord Sugar thinks that if you can sell in Essex you can sell anywhere. Will the candidate who describes themselves as "like Napoleon" meet their Waterloo outside Tilbury Fort?

Essex 1 Plymouth 0

America's Founding Fathers were Essex Boys, claims an article in the Daily Telegraph. (Click on the link to read.) New research from the Harwich Mayflower Project suggests that the Mayflower sailed from Harwich and only stopped at Plymouth for an hour to take on supplies. Yet it is Plymouth that has grabbed the glory for being the home of the Founding Fathers and hijacked the Mayflower. Hopefully Essex is not going to be mugged off any longer. Not only was Colchester once the capital of England, now we discover that Essex created the United States of America. No wonder President Obama supports West Ham.

Looking Back at Wilko

Went to the launch of Wilko Johnson's excellent new biography Looking Back at Me (Cadiz Music) at Rough Trade East last night, where Wilko played a great set and then signed 200 copies of his book. Written with Zoe Howe, Looking Back At Me is expensive at £25, but is brilliantly designed. It's a coffee-table book with full-page photos, pull-out quotes, old school reports (“A self-styled, yet probably genuine revolutionary”) and thoughts from Wilko on everything from the Canvey Island floods to the hippy trail in Afghanistan, science fiction, art, guns, aliens, the Moon and how to build your own rooftop observatory in Southend. A great read. Wilko does it right.

Essex and drugs at Wembley...

Good footballing day for Essex on Saturday. The late Ian Dury would have been very proud of this banner at the Play-off Final between West Ham and Blackpool, possibly made by some Billericay Dickies and referencing Dury's Sex and Drugs And Rock 'n' Roll single. Oi! Oi! While in the Champions League Final God's own county even received a mention. As Frank Lampard and John Terry went up to receive the trophy Clive Tyldesley commented that they were both "men of Essex".

Essex voting appeal

Today there's a veritable Esex-fest in politics: Ed Miliband is answering questions in Harlow and later Cameron and Clegg are taking Q and As in a a factory somewhere in Essex. It's interesting to see the pundits so excited about Labour winning the key seats of Thurrock and Harlow in the local elections. Just as Basildon was a barometer of success for Thatcher and then Blair, so these Essex marginals are a sign that Ed Miliband might be on his way to Number Ten. When Essex votes, the rest of the country follows. 

David Cameron should start memorising the price of a pint of milk in Grays if he wishes to cling to power and there are some signs that he's mugging up on Essex. The PM mentioned Towie in Parliament in April. When Conservative MP Robert Halfon boasted about business growth in his consituency of Harlow, the Prime Minister commented that Halfon’s point could be summed up as: “The only way is Essex!" The Sun immediately interviewed Amy Childs, who commented: “I've always been proud of Essex and hearing David Cameron talk about Harlow being helped by the Towie effect is mental!"

Not sure if Miliband, Cameron and Clegg will win over Joey Essex from Towie though, as when quizzed by Lucy on who the Prime Minister was, he famously answered "What, the Prime Minister of Essex?"

Thank you for the tanning opportunity, Lord Sugar

Something of an Essex-fest on this week's episode of The Apprentice. The teams had to go to a cash and carry and buy £150-worth of goods to sell at a destination of their choice in what Lord Sugar described as "my old manor of Essex". The sides appeared heavily influenced by Towie-sterotypes. Strangely they eschewed bound sets of Milan Kundera novels and opted for the fake spray-tan. Nick was impressed by the choice of Romford as a venue: "There are 70 per cent women here and 70 per cent of them are from Essex," he enthused about the likely tan sales. The other side chose Ilford and Pitsea to flog their gear.

"Ricky was very vocal that Essex likes a tan," commented Nick in the boardroom. "You're not giving Essex a great name you lot!" suggested Lord Sugar, after being presented with an Essex kit of fake tan and nail wraps. When the other team added false eyelashes, Lord Sugar suggested "they're having a good day in Essex."

What was most surprising was that you could buy a bottle of fake tan for £2 and sell it for £10 in the Romford shopping mall. Will the final see the contestants flogging rival vajazzle packages in Westfield?

A Bafta for Essex!

Blimey. Nanny Pat gets a gong and Essex has won a Bafta. The Only Way is Essex beat Downton Abbey to win a Bafta YouTube audience award last night. Proving that Essex is well cultured."Chavs top the toffs," declared the Mirror. While page three (where else?) of the Sun had "The only hooray is Essex".

As Amy said while accepting the award: "Shu' up!"

And presumably Joey Essex is still wondering who this Bafta bloke is.

Amy goes wild in the country

Julia Bradbury look out. Amy Childs could be making a bid to become a presenter on Countryfile (John Craven's blood pressure permitting).

Amy recently told FHM: "Brentwood is really green and nice and pretty. Maybe I'll talk about the countryside more. Can you imagine me with a stick going on a ramble? 'Come on everyone let's go!'. Can't say I go on rambles much."

Now's the time to start, Amy. Amy Childs' Thorndon Park Walks would surely be a worthy rival for Julia Bradbury's Canal Walks.