We're in Sydney and the news is that The Only Way Is Essex has hit Australian TV - surely a natural home for TOWIE. We're returning to the Uk this week to discover the Essex world turned upside down.
Amy Childs is on Celebrity Big Brother and has quit TOWIE and Mark and Lauren have split five months after getting engaged. There's also a rumour Mark might also be quitting TOWIE to, erm, crack Hollywood.
And no doubt Joey Essex will soon be leaving to crack the Consservative Cabinet and Nanny pat is Cameron's new riot tsar offering tough love and sausage plaits... Get me a drink in Sugar Hut, quick.
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